Recognizing People
I have difficulty recognizing faces. Always have.
It comes from an inability to “see” things inside my head. The technical term is aphantasia, and I’ve written about it before, so I won’t belabor it here. Suffice to say, the inability to visualize affects numerous aspects of life, including geographical skills (or lack thereof), memories (which, for most people, are very visual) and the inability to recognize people (or more specifically faces).
Aphantasia causes a plethora of repercussions, but most people with the condition aren’t aware of them, because how do you know you lack inner visualization abilities when you’ve got nothing else to compare it to? It is your normal, so you have no way of realizing that others have this skill and you do not. It’s probably a lot like color blindness, if an analogy helps.
But back to faces. It’s likely I might not remember yours. Especially if you change your look in some way. - like by wearing a baseball cap, or with the addition of glasses or a beard. All those things throw me off. Location is also a deal-breaker. If I expect to see you in one location - at church, for example and then I run into you at a soccer game, I will be thrown for a loop and probably not have any idea who you are.
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to not know you. It’s just my brain doesn’t work the same way as yours does.
I may not recognize people in the physical sense, but I’ve discovered that seeing someone with your eyes is only one facet of recognition. There are others, some much deeper.
There are ways, most of which I don’t fully understand - or even partially understand – that involve recognizing someone on a level that goes beyond physical appearance.
Have you ever met someone and immediately felt a connection? Something impalpable, that you couldn’t explain, but you knew, nevertheless, was there? On the other hand, have you ever gotten a negative vibe from someone - just knew they were slimy, icky or to be avoided?
The existence of chemistry in relationships, between friends or foes, is pretty much accepted. We tap into it without consciously knowing we are doing so. It has a few different labels: intuition, perception, instinct, listening to your gut.
I experience difficulty recognizing faces, and physical aspects of people, and the world, in general.
But I recognize people in other ways. Some might say on a soul-level.
I think many of us can. And do. And have. If we listen to our inner honesty - our inner voice or our inner eye.
It’s happened to me a number of times in my lifetime. The most obvious was with my husband. We met in driver’s training class at age 15 and “saw” each other right away. I knew him and he knew me, we just didn’t realize how fully that knowing was - and is, even after he is gone from this world.
Through this column I’ve come into contact with people I recognize without ever seeing or meeting them. We connect on a level that includes synchronicities and coincidences I wouldn’t have believed had they not happened to me.
I believe the recognition we all experience with certain people is no accident - whether it’s regarding a relationship that lasts a lifetime or one that is fleeting. We all know the feeling. The intangible familiarity that is palpable, yet it isn’t. But you know it is there.
I call that recognizing someone on the soul level. You can call it whatever you’d like, but when it happens, I think we can all agree it’s pretty cool.
And, it’s probably more important and impactful than recognizing their face, if we are being honest.
Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, published playwright and author. Don’t miss a slice; follow the Slices of Life page on Facebook.
