As I Age
I have been trying to decide what I will be one day. It’s odd because I have a real instinct for seeing the future of others but not my own. I view my own future through a sheer curtain, however its layers are enough to keep me from an accurate assessment of my own future. I think it is better this way as I don’t want to miss out on the adventure of my own life.
I am an observer of others. I have always known that my decisions should be made carefully after I collect as much information as I can. I have acquired most of my information through the mistakes and accomplishments of others. I have also proudly made my own mistakes and count them as marks of courage for having the guts to take a risk. I think a wise person only becomes wise due to learning quickly from mistakes. I also believe that those who make mistakes, while breaking trail for others, are the wisest and most brave of all of us. I know what I don’t want to be, I don’t want to be tragic as I age. When I say tragic, I do not mean to be physically weak or frail, I think physical changes are part of the game. When I use this strong word, I think of those who refuse to change. Those who refuse to embrace every manifestation of what could be their life.
My morals and my faith will never change, those should be constants that only gain strength with instruction. The Bible, the Ten Commandments, the constitution and my word should never change.
However, I think it is tragic to live the same life over and over without learning anything. I have often heard people boast of having “30 years of experience” when the truth is they have about one year of experience, thirty times over. I do not want to be this person, and I have never been this person.
What I don’t want to be is an old man, leaning on the young man I once was. I don’t want to constantly relive old glories and not have the determination to make a few more. I have watched some people who have made their mark only to retrace that mark their whole lives. I am sad for them. The only past glories I want to keep safe is what I have done for others or what has been done for me.
I want to stay young as I age. There is only one way to do this,from my perspective. It is to listen and learn, right to the very end. I think my strength as I age is that I have seen a lot of human character and I have learned why morals, traditions and faith are important and can share my thoughts. I have to marry this strength with the ability to listen to younger people as they bring fresh new ideas to the world. I also want to be relevant. This means to understand today’s technology so that I can use my natural abilities within our current framework.
It’s not such a big request is it? To grow old with grace, to be relevant, to be happy and engaged? It is an experience denied to many over time. I intend to use whatever portion I receive to the best of my abilities.
